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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23426536">(coming) home</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/odetohoshi/pseuds/odetohoshi'>odetohoshi</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>GOT7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Camping, Denial of Feelings, Friends to Lovers, Implied/Referenced Cheating, JJ Project - Freeform, Jaebum is oblivious, M/M, Self-Discovery, Slow Burn, and pining, background (sort of) jinson, jinyoung is whipped, since literally forever</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 10:14:15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,535</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23426536</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/odetohoshi/pseuds/odetohoshi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Jaebeom and Jinyoung have been best friends since they were six years old and staring at starry summer skies together. After disappearing sometime in high school to study abroad in an all-boy boarding school, Jinyoung returns back to Korea...with a boyfriend.</p><p>They’re now fresh out of college, and Jaebeom still doesn’t know how he feels about that.</p><p>And yet somehow, one weekend fall camping trip changes everything for the two best friends.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Im Jaebum | JB/Park Jinyoung, Park Jinyoung/Jackson Wang</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>88</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>(coming) home</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>hey all!! this is my first work on here hehe...I am absolutely in love with jjp and verse 2. this work was inspired by that album, and more specifically, tomorrow, today. hope you enjoy!!</p><p>also side note, reading this while listening to the crash landing on you OST really makes the experience that much better ;)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Starry summer nights and the unforgettable feeling of wind whipping through his hair are all that Jaebeom can seem to remember of the years he spent with Jinyoung. He’s unsure as to why else nothing quite stands out or jumps out from within his memory, but when his eyes meet Jinyoung’s own sparkling ones, it feels as though he were back in that space, in that time. Just the two of them, laying next to each other on the green grass smelling just enough of dew and humidity, the never-ending dark blanket dotted with stars spread out above them.</p><p>Jinyoung seems to notice the way Jaebeom spaces out while looking at him. A deep, soft chuckle escapes past his lips. “Jaebeom? Earth to Jaebeom?”</p><p>Jaebeom snaps out of his daze in an instant, a bashful pink hue dusting his cheeks. “Sorry,” he replies as he turns his attention back to his nail beds in embarrassment.</p><p>Jinyoung finds the corners of his lips turning up into a small smile at Jaebeom’s actions. He knows for a fact that Jaebeom has never been the shy type. He’s always been outspoken - a larger-than-life personality to match his larger-than-life talent. The man could do anything - except express his feelings, apparently.</p><p>At least this is what Jinyoung has noticed over the years. Jaebeom has always been amazing at expressing himself through music, dance, and composition. But talking about his feelings? He could never. Jinyoung is only aware of one particular place where Jaebeom is capable of truly expressing his raw emotions - his journal.</p><p>The book is sacred. Jaebeom never goes anywhere without it. It was never in sight whenever he left the room; the elder was always careful to hide it away from plain sight. Jinyoung only caught glimpses of the book when he came over by surprise and barged into Jaebeom’s room. Even then, the elder was always quick to slam it shut and tuck it under his pillow. And somehow, hours later, when Jinyoung would look for it in that very place, it was always gone.</p><p>Jinyoung has never asked about it. Jaebeom has never spoken of it. Sometimes Jinyoung finds himself wishing he knew what was going on in Jaebeom’s head. Sometimes he wished he could get his hands on that journal - but no, he could never. Jaebeom’s privacy is something he would never think to invade, no matter how close the two are.</p><p>So rather than prying and asking Jaebeom what he spaced out thinking about, Jinyoung simply turns his attention back onto the road in front of them. He follows the van in front of them, in which their other friends drive happily while blasting music that, in Jinyoung’s mind, should be censored for Yugyeom’s sake. The youngest of the septet would never cease to be just a kid in his mind, no matter how tall and developed he’s become.</p><p>He can see Jackson obnoxiously throw his head back and yell out some lyrics - something that causes Mark to react and playfully shove him sideways from the driver’s seat. Jaebeom seems to notice the same thing, chuckling and shaking his head.<br/>
“Sometimes I swear Jackson is the youngest of us all,” Jaebeom says, turning to look at Jinyoung.</p><p>Jinyoung shakes his head. “Nah, don’t think so. Do you see the way Mark behaves? If anyone should be the youngest, it should be him.”</p><p>Jaebeom hums in acknowledgment. “Hmm...you’re probably right. But Jackson’s a close second.”</p><p>“I won’t argue you there.”</p><p>Jaebeom falls silent again, and once more Jinyoung finds himself wishing he knew what was going through the elder’s head. His curiosity is quickly satisfied when Jaebeom suddenly speaks up. “Does it ever take you aback how time has flown over the years?”</p><p>Jinyoung is surprised by the sudden depth of Jaebeom’s words. “What do you mean?”</p><p>“Time...it’s just gone by so quickly. It feels like just yesterday that the two of us were sprawled out on the grass of your backyard counting the stars.”</p><p>Jinyoung smiles at the memory. “We’d try and connect the dots too - remember that time you swore you’d seen a constellation of a cat?”</p><p>“Hey! I still think there’s a cat constellation up there!”</p><p>Jinyoung throws his head back and laughs, a rare thing for the younger, more reserved of the two men. “If it helps you sleep better at night.”</p><p>Jaebeom rolls his eyes and shakes his head. “My point was, it feels like those days were just yesterday. And somehow, it’s all I can really focus on when I think about our years growing up together.”</p><p>Jinyoung briefly looks at Jaebeom, who seems deep in thought, before turning his eyes back on the road. He’s suddenly fallen mysteriously quiet. Was it something Jaebeom said?</p><p>“That’s all you remember?”</p><p>Jaebeom thinks for a moment. “I mean...I can sort of dig up some memories from the back of my mind, but they’re fuzzy. Has it really been that long, Jinyoung?”</p><p>Jinyoung’s countenance visibly changes. His shoulders almost seem to droop ever so slightly. “I guess so. We’re men now, JB.”</p><p>“God, I remember when being an adult is all I could think about. It felt as if I were going to be a kid forever.”</p><p>“And as a teenager?”</p><p>“Pffft, I couldn’t tell you a thing about my teen years besides getting stoned in the back of Youngjae’s old Buick every chance I got.”</p><p>Jinyoung raised his eyebrows in amusement. “Is that really what you spent your time doing when I went abroad to finish high school?”</p><p>Jaebeom laughs out loud. “You missed a lot, Jinyoung. But so did I! I mean, imagine the absolute shock I was in when you returned for college with a boyfriend! I didn’t even know you were ga-”</p><p>“Bisexual, Jaebeom. I’m bisexual.”</p><p>“Y-Yeah, that…” Jaebeom suddenly trails off, a strange look in his eyes.</p><p>Jinyoung frowns a bit, grip on the steering wheel tightening ever so slightly. “Is that a problem?” he asks a little too sternly.</p><p>Jaebeom’s head snaps sideways, alarm reflected in his eyes at the question. “No! No, of course not! Why would it be?”</p><p>Jinyoung shrugs, refusing to take his eyes off the road. “I don’t know. You seem off-put by it.”</p><p>“No, no of course not. It’s not that...I just…” And suddenly Jaebeom has closed himself off again, unable to express his feelings. But now Jinyoung wants him to finish. He has to. He needs to know.</p><p>“What is it?”</p><p>Jaebeom opens his mouth and shuts it a few times before sighing. “I just feel like I lost my best friend in those years. Or maybe that I never knew you at all.”</p><p>Jinyoung’s eyebrows immediately furrow in annoyance. “What? Jaebeom what- what are you talking about?”</p><p>“God, Jinyoung I didn’t mean it in a bad way! I’m just upset at myself that I didn’t know that about you. I can’t help but wonder what else I missed over the years. Or how much I missed when you left. We’re not the same guys from middle school.”</p><p>“Of course we’re not - we’re grown up. Did you think it’d be the same?”</p><p>Jaebeom falls silent again, eyes dropping to his hands. Jinyoung wants to say so much - he can sense all the unspoken words in the air between them. Jaebeom seems to sense them too, judging from the stiffness of his shoulders and the way he refuses to look up. </p><p>After quite some time of sitting in silence, Jaebeom speaks up almost inaudibly. “Is Jackson good to you?”</p><p>Jinyoung is taken aback by the question, but his face remains blank and emotionless. “He is,” he replies back curtly.</p><p>Jaebeom nods. “Then in that case I approve. I just wish I’d known sooner.”</p><p>“How would that have changed anything?” Jinyoung questions.</p><p>Jaebeom shrugs. “ I don’t know. I just feel like a bad friend for not knowing, you know? I feel like it’s something you should’ve been able to tell me about. Your sexuality, I mean. I’m sorry if I ever made you feel like you couldn’t be open about it.”</p><p>Jinyoung shakes his head. “It’s nothing you did, Beomie. It’s a process for everyone. I just wasn’t ready when I left.” For a lot of reasons, he thinks to himself. </p><p>But how could he ever explain to Jaebeom those reasons without making him run for the hills?</p><p>~*~*~</p><p>Jaebeom’s words haven’t quite managed to leave Jinyoung’s mind all night, even long after the group arrives to the campsite Youngjae had insisted that they go to. Should he have told him before he went off to study abroad? Was he the bad friend for keeping Jaebeom in the dark about his sexuality?</p><p>But then again no - he wasn’t ready. Jinyoung didn’t owe it to Jaebeom to tell him of his bisexuality. But even more so - he couldn’t possibly tell him when Jaebeom was Jinyoung’s bisexual awakening.</p><p>He still thinks back more often than not and can’t seem to pinpoint the exact moment that it happened. When did Jaebeom become more than just his best friend? When did Jinyoung realize it? Was it during those nights in Jinyoung’s backyard? Maybe the night Jaebeom turned his face toward him and grinned, eyes sparkling with wonder as he insists that he does actually see a cat constellation in the sky? Or maybe it was the time their fingers accidentally brushed each other’s hands when they both reached into the bowl of popcorn at the same time. Or perhaps it was the time a massive thunderstorm hit while Jinyoung was sleeping over at Jaebeom’s house - when Jaebeom had cuddled Jinyoung close, knowing that the younger was terrified of the thunder. </p><p>Or maybe it was the first time Jaebeom confessed he had a crush on a girl at school. Maybe that’s the ugly feeling and the bitter taste Jinyoung felt in his mouth as he realized that he was no longer the only cause of Jaebeom’s smile. Maybe that’s the day it all hit, fell quickly into place.</p><p>Things were changing. They were changing. Jaebeom was growing up, and so was he. </p><p>That realization alone was enough to send him running away for fear of what would happen. Would adolescence take Jaebeom away from him? If so, Jinyoung couldn’t stick around to have to bear it. And it’s now that he’s a grown man, thinking back, that he can conclude that it was that very thought that drove him to beg his mother to let him study outside of Korea. </p><p>Jackson happened suddenly. Jinyoung didn’t quite plan it, nor see it coming. The last thing he expected to find abroad was a foreign boy who would instantly take a liking to him. Jinyoung hadn’t even thought to initiate anything with Jackson. But in a split second, before he had a chance to process anything, Jackson had been sneaking into his dorm room, pushing him against a wall, and kissing him fervently.</p><p>How was Jinyoung supposed to resist, being that he was hormonal, deprived, lonely, and confused?</p><p>Jinyoung sighs and looks up from the ground between his two feet and at the bonfire the group had built and set ablaze. Jackson’s head is thrown back in laughter, the obnoxiously cute sound ringing in the night at something that Bambam has said. Mark groans and rolls his eyes, a smirk playing at the corner of his lips as he observes the two. Right beside the three, Youngjae and Yugyeom talk quietly and discreetly, almost as if discussing something only meant for each other’s ears. </p><p>Jinyoung’s eyes flick toward Jaebeom, who sits alone on the ground, legs crossed as he absentmindedly pokes at the fire with a stick. He cocks his head sideways a little, wondering once more what could be on the elder’s mind. But before he can give it much thought, Jackson is calling his name, waving him over and patting the spot next to him.</p><p>Jinyoung smiles softly and pushes himself off the hood of the car he was leaning against, making his way toward Jackson and plopping down beside him. Jackson grins and wraps his arms around Jinyoung’s waist, pulling him closer and burying his face in his boyfriend’s neck. Jinyoung chuckles and presses a kiss on the top of Jackson’s head.</p><p>“Someone’s feeling cuddly,” Jinyoung says softly, only for Jackson to hear.</p><p>Jackson laughs and looks up into Jinyoung’s eyes. “I’m feeling more than just cuddly, but unfortunately we’re not alone,” he replies, foreign drawl creeping into his voice and making Jinyoung laugh. </p><p>“When aren’t you?” Jinyoung asks sarcastically, rolling his eyes and kissing Jackson softly. “Once we get home we can do a lot more than just cuddle. Don’t worry.” Jackson seems content with Jinyoung’s response, blushing slightly and nuzzling his face into Jinyoung’s neck before turning his attention back to Mark and Bambam. He never lets go of Jinyoung’s waist, leaning against his chest and continuing his conversation from there. </p><p>Jinyoung isn’t quite sure what the three are even talking about, so once again, his mind drifts - and with his mind, his eyes. They find their way to Jaebeom once more. Jinyoung’s breath catches in his chest momentarily when he catches Jaebeom watching him and Jackson with an unreadable expression in his eyes. Jaebeom flushes a little and immediately looks back down at the fire.</p><p>Jinyoung thinks for a moment before tapping Jackson softly, motioning for him to get up. Jackson frowns slightly but obeys, letting Jinyoung stand up from underneath him. Jinyoung feels Jackson’s gaze on him as he walks toward Jaebeom. He smiles softly before sitting next to his best friend, who returns the smile weakly.</p><p>“What’s on your mind, hyung?” Jinyoung asks, knowing Jaebeom all too well.</p><p>Jaebeom remains silent for a few moments before looking up into Jinyoung’s warm brown gaze. He bites the inside of his cheek before speaking up. “I missed you those years you were away.”</p><p>Jinyoung smiles softly, feeling warm all over his body for reasons other than the campfire before them. “You know I missed you too, hyung. I had no one to watch shitty variety shows with!”</p><p>“You had Jackson,” Jaebeom replies without hesitation, not having fully thought it through. He didn’t mean the tinge of scorn that coated his words, but how can he take them back now?</p><p>Jinyoung’s smile fades as he falls silent, watching Jaebeom carefully. Jaebeom stares back blankly before switching his gaze back to the campfire. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to sound so abrupt.”</p><p>“Is that what’s bothering you? Still?” Jinyoung asks. There is no reproach in his voice - only genuine worry. </p><p>Jaebeom shakes his head. “No, I just - I’m sorry. It’s just that it had never really hit me that once we grew up, suddenly there would be other people in our lives. It was just me and you against the world, yano? And when you came back, I just - it felt like we were still hundreds of miles apart even as you stood right in front of me at the airport. You weren’t alone. He was...there.”<br/>
Jinyoung nods a little, understanding what Jaebeom means. “Maybe that’s how I felt when you caught a crush on Im Nayeon back in middle school,” he replies, making Jaebeom’s head snap up in shock.</p><p>“You...you felt that way?”</p><p>Jinyoung nods. “She’s all you talked about, hyung. And that was okay...until I realized that things were changing. I was changing.”</p><p>Jaebeom furrows his eyebrows in confusion. “What do you mean?”</p><p>Jinyoung opens his mouth to speak up again, and maybe he’ll never know what he would’ve said had it not been for Bambam calling the two over to roast marshmallows with them.</p><p>“Jinyoung -”</p><p>“We can talk about it later, hyung, I’m not going anywhere,” Jinyoung says with a soft smile, getting up and extending his hand to Jaebeom. The elder looks at his hand and smiles back, nodding a little to himself and taking his hand firmly.</p><p>Maybe he still does have his best friend, after all. </p><p>~*~*~</p><p>“Hyung?”</p><p>Jaebeom’s attention is caught by the sound of Yugyeom calling his name, the younger poking his head into his tent.</p><p>“What’s up, loser?” Jaebeom asks, a playful grin on his lips. He’s thankful for the sudden distraction—for some reason, he can’t quite stop thinking about Jinyoung. More importantly, he can’t stop thinking about what Jinyoung meant earlier when he said he was changing. </p><p>Jinyoung had promised that they’d continue their conversation later, but every time Jaebeom revisited the topic, one Jackson Wang quickly intervened every time, wanting to draw all of his best friend’s attention to himself. Jaebeom found himself gritting his teeth and nearly throwing more than one rather mocking comment at the man multiple times, only deterred by Jinyoung’s apologetic look each time it happened.</p><p>But now that Yugyeom is here, and Jinyoung is not, maybe he could use the distraction from the youngest of them all. And yet despite the way he’s been unfocused and lost in his thoughts, he instantly picks up on the reluctant and even worried look on the youngest’s face.</p><p>“Can I talk to you about something?” he asks hesitantly. “I don’t know who else to go to, and Youngjae-hyung said I should come to you.”</p><p>Jaebeom’s eyes widen slightly, processing Yugyeom’s words. He nods quickly, shifting and patting the spot next to him. “Sure sure, come here! Let’s talk.”</p><p>Yugyeom offers the elder a slightly relieved smile and plops down beside Jaebeom, crossing his legs and settling in. He instantly begins picking at his nails—something Jaebeom knows he does out of habit when he’s nervous. </p><p>“Hey, it’s okay. Tell me what’s on your mind,” Jaebeom says in reassurance, pulling Yugyeom’s hands apart and giving him his full attention.</p><p>Yugyeom sighed and nodded. “Okay. I...I wasn’t sure how to start this conversation, but since you’ve known Jinyoung-hyung the longest of all of us, Youngjae-hyung and I thought I should tell you about it. Maybe see what we should do.”</p><p>Jaebeom’s heart seems to skip a beat, stomach clenching at the mention of Jinyoung. “JY? What about him?”</p><p>Yugyeom continues, albeit reluctantly so. “W-Well, there’s something I’ve been noticing lately. I mean I could totally just be making it up, or seeing things, and I really don’t want to make false accusations here because it’s hyung’s relationship, and perhaps—“</p><p>“Gyeomie. Breathe. Get to the point,” Jaebeom interrupts, not a trace of malice in his tone. Clearly Yugyeom is worried about something, and Jaebeom wants him to get it out. </p><p>Yugyeom groans and nods. “Sorry, sorry. You know I panic. Anyway…I think Jackson-hyung isn’t being completely honest with him.”</p><p>Now Jaebeom straightens up more, eyebrows furrowing quickly in focus. “What do you mean?”</p><p>Yugyeom wrings his hands, debating on how he should phrase his next words. “Well…I think there’s something going on between him and Mark-hyung. You know...like a secret thing that shouldn’t be happening but is?”</p><p>The elder doesn’t react immediately, Yugyeom’s words hitting him like a bucket of ice water. He stares at Yugyeom, wide-eyed, words faltering multiple times.</p><p>“Well again! I could be wrong! I could just be seeing things that aren’t there, and if I am I’d feel really bad for assuming something like that about the hyungs, and maybe I’m just being paranoid or nosy, b-but Youngjae-hyung says he’s suspected something like that as well. So he thought I should tell you.”<br/>
Jaebeom licks his lip, lost in thought as he takes the news in. “Uh...w-well have you seen anything particular? Something obvious?”</p><p>“A few times. Sometimes Mark-hyung leaves his hand on Jackson-hyung’s lap a little too long. They keep exchanging these looks, as if they shared some secret. And earlier, while we were hiking, I thought I saw Jackson-hyung pinch his butt. And then Youngjae-hyung said that the two disappeared for a while during the hike when we all split up and suddenly reappeared at the main campsite when he and Bambam came back. They looked a little messy and out of breath.”</p><p>Jaebeom frowns instantly, an ugly feeling building up inside him. So he was right about the weird feelings he’s had about Jackson! The discomfort, the lack of trust…he’d been right! </p><p>
  <i>But Jinyoung—hell, how am I going to tell Jinyoung?</i>
</p><p>“Hyung? Say something please,” Yugyeom pleads, watching Jaebeom expectantly, back to wringing his hands out of nerves. </p><p>Jaebeom snaps back to reality. “Right! Sorry I just got lost in my thoughts. It’s a lot to take in, for sure. I’ll be honest—I had some suspicions about Jackson myself.”</p><p>“You did? Since when?”</p><p>“Since I first met him,” Jaebeom replies sincerely. “But anyway...let me think about what to do, okay? This is obviously a delicate matter. We don’t want Jinyoung to get hurt but we also can’t ignore what we think is happening.” </p><p>“Whatever you do, hyung, please don’t throw Youngjae-hyung and I under the bus,” Yugyeom begs, eyes beginning to water.</p><p>Jaebeom nods quickly, clapping Yugyeom’s shoulder reassuringly. “Of course not. Don’t worry.”</p><p>Yugyeom sighs in relief. “Okay then. Thanks hyung! It’s such a relief to tell someone else. I feel like I’m not the only crazy one! I just hope that whatever happens, he doesn’t get hurt.”</p><p>“Don’t worry. I’ve taken care of JY all his life. I’ll handle it. Now go get some sleep! We’re getting up early tomorrow.”</p><p>Yugyeom grins and nods, waving a quick goodbye at Jaebeom and stepping out of his tent. Jaebeom is left with his thoughts and with one hell of a conflict—</p><p>
  <i>How the fuck do I tell Jinyoung?</i>
</p><p>~*~*~</p><p>The answer doesn’t come easy to him. Even in his sleep, Jaebeom’s mind was reeling with the newly discovered information about Jackson and Mark. Even now, as he brushes his teeth just outside his tent, he thinks, thinks, and thinks some more.</p><p>He wouldn’t have pegged Mark as the side piece type. Even less a traitor. Jaebeom frowns deeper, almost positive that by the end of this road trip, he’ll look like an old man with a permanently set frown and stress wrinkles. He’ll have to double up on the skin care once he makes it back home.</p><p>Jaebeom doesn’t know how he pegged Jackson—maybe a dishonest type, but cheating type? That’s a little drastic. Then again, he instantly recognized Jackson as the wild, adventurous type the moment he met him. </p><p>Jinyoung’s polar opposite. </p><p>Jaebeom scoffs to himself. How could Jinyoung have seen anything in Jackson! The two are literal antonyms of each other—Jackson impulsive and daring, Jinyoung careful and calculating. Jackson sees the world in bursts of color. Jinyoung sees everything in black and white.</p><p>Other people might find Jinyoung boring. Jaebeom never did. He couldn’t even now.</p><p>And maybe that’s the thing about the two—Jinyoung never had to be anything but himself for Jaebeom to cling to him unlike he would to anyone else. Jinyoung was enough—is enough. He’ll always be just that. </p><p>Enough.</p><p>So why isn’t he enough for Jackson?</p><p>The thought causes Jaebeom to grit his teeth in anger. He aggressively rinses his mouth one more time before stuffing his toothbrush into his backpack. Jackson isn’t you. </p><p>He damn right isn’t. Jaebeom would never, could never betray Jinyoung’s confidence that way.</p><p>Almost as if the younger would have heard his rather loud thoughts, Jinyoung ducks out of his own tent, shared with Jackson. He catches Jaebeom’s gaze from afar and grins, waving at his best friend. Jaebeom’s cheeks quickly become dusted with a pinkish hue as he returns the wave. Jinyoung makes his way over to him, the sound of autumn leaves crunching under his hiking boots filling the air. </p><p>“Please tell me you slept better than I did,” Jinyoung days with a playful grin. </p><p>Jaebeom laughs and shakes his head. “Can’t say I did. How come you didn’t?”</p><p>Jinyoung rolls his eyes. “God you have no idea. Jackson snores like a fucking chainsaw when he’s exhausted. A curse in itself.”</p><p>Jaebeom shakes his head, the mention of Jackson causing his stomach to clench with anxious nerves. “Wanna walk?”</p><p>Jinyoung shrugs and walks side by side with Jaebeom, occasionally stealing a sideways glance. The two walk in silence, both knowing that no words ever have to be said to fill some uncomfortable silence between them. It’s just Jaebeom and Jinyoung, Jinyoung and Jaebeom. </p><p>“You’re quiet,” Jinyoung speaks up as the two cross over a fallen tree along the hiking trail </p><p>“Mm? No I’m not,” Jaebeom counters.</p><p>“Uh, yeah you are. I know you, hyung. Something on your mind?”</p><p>Jaebeom doesn’t answer right away, shrugging. “I mean I guess? A few things. They’re not important though.” Lies. A pang of guilt hits Jaebeom. The two don’t usually lie to each other—partly because they’d be able to see right through the other instantly. Luckily for Jaebeom, he’d been practicing his poker face in Jinyoung’s absence.</p><p>Jinyoung searches his face for some hint of a lie, a tell, or maybe some other giveaway. Jaebeom smiles up at the taller man innocently. </p><p>“Huh...if you say so,” Jinyoung concedes, despite not seeming completely convinced. </p><p>The two continue walking, breathing in the crisp air of the autumn morning. For as long as Jaebeom can remember, it’s always been Jinyoung’s favorite time of year. The atmosphere is different, he’d always say. Warmer, welcoming, like home after a long day at work.</p><p>Now that Jaebeom thinks about it, with Jinyoung walking beside him, he’s never attributed that kind of atmosphere with a season. No, warm and welcoming has always been his best friend.</p><p>Jinyoung is his home after a long day of work. He’s his calm and his warmth. Jinyoung is familiar, refreshing, cozy.</p><p>“Have you ever felt like home isn’t a place?” Jaebeom finds himself asking, glancing sideways at Jinyoung and catching the way the taller man’s ears redden slightly.</p><p>Jinyoung bites his lip in thought, before smiling a little. “Actually yeah, I have. Sometimes home isn’t a place. Sometimes it’s a thought, or a person. An action.”</p><p>“What’s your home?” Jaebeom presses, not sure where the question is coming from but needing the answer desperately.</p><p>Jinyoung looks up, eyes meeting Jaebeom’s almost a little nervously. “You really want to know?”</p><p>Jaebeom stops in his tracks, the two now a far ways from the main campsite. The two stand near the edge of a cliff overlooking majestic mountains far away, a flowing river running along their base. The crisp wind blows through the changing trees around them, through Jinyoung’s hair. Something clicks inside of Jaebeom, something he can’t quite place, something he can’t quite put a name to. </p><p>But in that moment, taking in the whole of his best friend - Park Jinyoung, with his dark, silky hair falling perfectly over his forehead, with his earnest warm brown eyes staring back at him with some underlying sparkle, with his smooth skin blending in perfectly against the warm autumn palette around them, with his timid, soft smile lighting up his face - Jaebeom feels it. </p><p>It’s small, shy, nervous, happy, anxious, confused, nervous, hopeful, nostalgic, reminiscent, welcoming, unnerving, and beautiful all at once. He feels it.</p><p>One simple look into Jinyoung’s eyes and Jaebeom knows he feels it too. </p><p>Jaebeom finally nods, answering Jinyoung’s question. “I do,” he whispers, and had it not been because of their close proximity, Jinyoung might not even have heard him. </p><p>Jinyoung doesn’t answer immediately, simply staring back at Jaebeom with that look in his eyes, and suddenly Jaebeom forgets where they are and who he is. It’s like the ground beneath his feet has fallen, leaving him in a freefall. </p><p>Jinyoung sighs, a small smile turning up the right corner of his lips. Mixed emotions swim in his warm brown eyes. “You, Jaebeom. It’s always been you.”</p><p>Jaebeom stops breathing for a moment, his words settling into every cell in his body. “Me?”</p><p>The other cocks his head sideways, the way he does when he’s puzzled. “You seem confused.”</p><p>“N-No, it’s not that it’s just…I wasn’t expecting that.”</p><p>“What were you expecting?” he asks, a light, playful tone in his voice as he slides his hands into his jacket pockets.</p><p>Jaebeom laughs nervously and shrugs. “I don’t really know.”</p><p>“What’s your home?” Jinyoung asks, an amused sparkle twinkling in his eyes.</p><p>Jaebeom’s cheeks redden. “It’s too cheesy.”</p><p>Jinyoung laughs out loud now, shaking his head. “Oh no! You’re not doing that! You have to tell me now!” Jaebeom laughs with him, looking away and digging the front of his shoe into the ground.</p><p>“Fine then...my home is you.”</p><p>Jinyoung breaks out into a grin. “You’re right, that was cheesy.”</p><p>“Jinyoung!”</p><p>The taller man laughs out loud, throwing his head back. The sight makes Jaebeom’s insides twist with that same something. “Okay, okay. I’ll stop.”</p><p>“I hate you,” Jaebeom says as he walks past and sits cross-legged near the edge of the cliff. </p><p>“You know you don’t,” Jinyoung retorts as he sits beside him. The two men fall silent, taking in the breathtaking scenery before them. </p><p>Jaebeom swallows, remembering suddenly what he’d been aiming to tell Jinyoung all along. “Jinyoung...there’s something I need to tell you.”</p><p>Jinyoung turns his head and looks deeply into Jaebeom’s eyes. The latter could swear he sees a flash of sadness in them. “Don’t worry...I know.”</p><p>Confusion takes over Jaebeom’s expression. “Know what?”</p><p>His best friend’s shoulders slump slightly. He looks away from him, staring at the ground. His fingers nervously play with the laces of his hiking boots. “About Jackson and Mark.”</p><p>Jaebeom’s eyes widen, heart dropping into his stomach. “Wh-What? You know?”</p><p>Jinyoung nods softly, suddenly blinking rapidly. He takes in a shaky breath. “It wasn’t hard to piece together. I’ve been picking up on things for months now.”</p><p>Jaebeom’s jaw drops slightly, wanting to say so much. “I...But...I don’t understand. Why are you still with him then?”</p><p>Jinyoung swallows thickly. “I thought I could overlook it, if it meant I wouldn’t be alone.”</p><p>“But Jinyoung, there are plenty of other men and women out there! You don’t have to settle for that! It’s not fair to you!” Jaebeom protests, a flash of anger coursing through his veins. How is he supposed to be okay with his best friend being in a relationship knowing that his partner is unfaithful? How could that possibly be just?</p><p>Jinyoung shakes his head. “It’s not that easy, Jaebeom.”</p><p>“Why not? People break up, meet new people and date, and break up again all the time! It’s the way life is! You try, and try and try again until you find the right person! Jackson isn’t right! You’re going to end up hurt either way!”</p><p>“Please...stop. Just stop.”</p><p>“But Jinyoung -”</p><p>“I said stop, Jaebeom!” Jinyoung yells, voice echoing across the mountains and forest. Jaebeom flinches, shock in his eyes. He hadn’t expected such an outburst.</p><p>Jaebeom wants to be angry, wants to yell back at Jinyoung, but when he meets his pain-filled eyes, he can only swallow and nod. “I’m sorry,” he whispers.</p><p>Jinyoung shakes his head. “I know you’re right. But if you knew what I felt, you’d understand.”</p><p>“Then tell me how you feel, Jinyoung. Nothing you tell me is going to scare me away. Stop holding back. I’m your home, remember? And you’re mine.” He scoots closer, squeezing Jinyoung’s hand. “Just tell me.”</p><p>His best friend can only shake his head. “If I told you, I promise you you’d never look at me the same.”</p><p>“Jinyoung please, that’s not true -”</p><p>Jinyoung pulls his hand out of Jaebeom’s firm grasp, standing up and beginning to walk away. Jaebeom freezes for a moment, completely dumbfounded. It takes a few seconds for his emotions to register, and suddenly he’s on his feet.</p><p>“Park Jinyoung!” Jaebeom yells, causing his best friend to stop in his tracks. “Don’t do that. Don’t walk away from me!”</p><p>Jinyoung turns around, tears streaming down his cheeks. The sight breaks Jaebeom’s heart. He closes the distance between himself and Jinyoung, stopping just a few inches from him. Their faces are so close together that Jaebeom can see where his breath and Jinyoung’s mix in the crisp autumn air. </p><p>Adrenaline courses through his veins. His nerves feel like a live wire. His heart is slamming so hard against his chest that he’s almost positive Jinyoung can hear it. “Stop running from me,” Jaebeom whispers, wiping a tear away from Jinyoung’s cheek. “Come home.”</p><p>And for a moment, it feels as though every defense, every brick wall built around them has come crumbling down. Jinyoung lets out a sob, unable to hold back any longer.</p><p>His lips crash against Jaebeom’s, shaking hands cupping his cheeks gently. Jaebeom lets go of all of his senses, gasping at the feeling and losing himself in it. His hands grasp at Jinyoung’s jacket, pulling him closer, until their chests are pressed together. It’s as if all reason had left his body, instincts taking over as he kisses back with just as much longing.</p><p>All these years. So much wasted time. Failed relationships, one after the next. </p><p>18 years later, it all makes sense.</p><p>The nights spent under the stars, the exchanged glances full of wonder and excitement, nights spent cuddled close to find comfort and warmth from the thunderstorms raging outside, light, timid touches shared, inside jokes and laughter, years of feeling dissociated from the world after losing Jinyoung to boarding school, jealousy, anger, nostalgia - </p><p>Love. It was there from the start. It’s there now.</p><p>Tears slip down Jaebeom’s own cheeks as the full force of his deeply buried love hits him like a ton of bricks. He clings onto Jinyoung like a lifeline, their lips moving less timidly and awkwardly, now finding a rhythm and moving together with more urgency, more need. </p><p>
  <i>It’s you, Jinyoung. You’re my home.</i>
</p><p>The two finally break apart when the need for air becomes greater than the need for each other. The words escape Jaebeom’s lips before he can stop them, and maybe he doesn’t want to.</p><p>“I love you,” he whispers, body shaking with a million emotions trying to sort themselves out in his head.</p><p>Jinyoung pulls away, eyes wide. “What...what did you say?”</p><p>Jaebeom swallows, new tears flowing. “I know it now. I see it. It’s always been there. I love you, Jinyoung.”</p><p>His best friend shakes his head in disbelief, hands covering his mouth in shock. “You-You can’t...Jaebeom please don’t play with my feelings...please -”</p><p>“I mean it,” Jaebeom insists, stepping closer to Jinyoung and taking his hands, pulling away from his face. Now that he truly looks at Jinyoung, he realizes he can count the amount of times he’s seen the man cry. Somehow, those moments seem more beautiful to him now than ever before. </p><p>Jinyoung refuses to look at him, tears continuing to fall like a never-ending waterfall. The man gasps for air and covers his face again. Jaebeom shakes his head and pulls his hands away, lifting his chin toward him. “You can’t hide from me. I’m your home, remember?”</p><p>His best friend shakes his head again and again, in denial. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have done that, I’m so sorry-”</p><p>Jaebeom kisses his best friend again to stop him from continuing to apologize. Each rambled apology only feels like a punch to the gut. He works to calm Jinyoung down by running his fingers through the hair on the nape of Jinyoung’s neck soothingly, his other arm wrapped around his waist. </p><p>Could he be any more of a fool? How could he have not noticed after 18 years? </p><p>He pulls away once he feels Jinyoung beginning to calm down. He presses their foreheads together, wiping more tears away. “Jinyoungie...it must’ve been hard for you right? You must have had a really hard time. I’m so sorry it took this idiot so long to realize how you felt, and even more so, how I felt. You don’t have to apologize for anything.”</p><p>Jinyoung swallows and takes in a shaky breath. “It doesn’t matter anymore,” he replies with a soft laugh. “None of it matters, because I love you too, Jaebeom.”</p><p>Jaebeom smiles at the sound of those words leaving Jinyoung’s lips. It sounds right. “Now I know why it never sounded right coming from anyone else.”</p><p>The taller man laughs and buries his face in the crook of Jaebeom’s shoulder. “I can say it as many times as you’d like me to.”</p><p>“Mmm, say it again. It sounds nice.”</p><p>“I love you, Jaebeom.”</p><p>“What? Sorry, I didn’t catch that.”</p><p>“Hey!” Jinyoung protests, punching Jaebeom’s side rather harshly.</p><p>“Ow! Damn it, 18 years of dealing with your ass and that never stops hurting!”</p><p>Jinyoung picks his head up and sticks his tongue out at Jaebeom. “Too bad, you’re stuck with me.”</p><p>“I really am, aren’t I?” Jaebeom says thoughtfully, finding himself lost in the taller man’s intense gaze all over again. He gasps as a thought comes to mind. “Does that mean you’ll be sending Jackson Wang to hell now?”</p><p>Jinyoung rolls his red-rimmed eyes and punches Jaebeom again, lighter this time. “Not to hell, Jaebeom. Maybe just out of my place.”</p><p>Jaebeom smirks. “Now that’s a plan I can get behind.”</p><p>A small laugh escapes Jinyoung’s eyes as he wipes the last of his tear tracks away. “God, we must look like shit.”</p><p>“Correction, you must look like shit - I never have a dull mo- ow! Again?”</p><p>“Whoops, my arm slipped,” Jinyoung replies, faking an innocent look. Jaebeom narrows his eyes at his best friend. </p><p>Jinyoung laughs a little before becoming serious again. “All jokes aside...honestly, what does this mean? You know, for us?”</p><p>Jaebeom falls silent, unsure of what to say. “I mean...what do you want it to mean?”</p><p>Jinyoung thinks for a moment. “Maybe we can figure it out on our way back home?”</p><p>“Home? You want to leave now?” Jaebeom asks, taken aback. “What about the others?”</p><p>His best friend shrugs. “They’ll find their way. Just like we found ours.”</p><p>A soft smile spreads across Jaebeom’s face. “Okay. We can go home.” He laces his fingers through Jinyoung’s as the two begin to walk toward the main campsite, making their way to Jinyoung’s car instead of the tents. The others are still sleeping, to the pair’s relief.</p><p>The two slide into the car in the same positions in which they came. Jinyoung starts the engine and turns to look at Jaebeom again, eyes full of a mixture of emotions.</p><p>Jaebeom blushes slightly at the feeling of his best friend’s intense gaze on him. He intertwines their fingers together, already craving the feeling of Jinyoung’s grounding touch. “What’s that look for, Jinyoungie?”</p><p>“Nothing,” Jinyoung says, a twinkle in his eyes. “You’re just the best home I’ve ever had.”<br/>
The elder grins, pecking Jinyoung’s cheek quickly. “In that case, both tomorrow and today, let’s be each other’s homes.”</p><p>And now, those same starry summer nights, blurry and distant in his memory before, remain engraved in his mind and his heart - every last detail, look, touch, and feeling a sweet reminder of just how easily Im Jaebeom fell for his best friend, Park Jinyoung.</p>
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